Recently Daniel Blevins (he/him) shared his story with Still Not A Phase about his fantastic group Stand In Pride. Daniel shared a bit about the group saying, "Stand In Pride connects members of the LGBTQ+ community with other members and allies for emotional support and to physically stand in at life events such as weddings or graduations."
What started as a offer, in January of 2021, to be a stand in dad has evolved into so much more with Daniel and the many who have seen this video, "Two years ago I shared a video on TikTok offering to be a stand in dad for LGBTQ+ couples whose parents wouldn’t attend their wedding. The response to that video was overwhelming with supportive messages of others offering to do the same. That lead to the creation of the first private group on Facebook. The group quickly evolved and became about more than just weddings. Our members are connecting and building chosen family relationships."
This is such an amazing group that deserves to be talked about for all the good that they do. For some folks in the LGBTQ+ community they will never see their families at their biggest life events, something as simple as moving into the first house, all the way to that persons wedding. Stand In Pride has been that gentle support in so many peoples lives, and we don't hear about it because they aren't doing it to be recognized. That's what makes this group so incredible!
Also, while talking with Daniel we asked about the short term goals that he had planned for Stand In Pride and we have to commend them on everything that they want to do, "An immediate goal includes becoming a non profit this year. In the event the Supreme Court overturns marriage equality, giving states the option to ban same sex marriage, our non profit will focus on assisting those who have to travel out of state to get married. I want to help those who can’t afford the expense of travel and offer stand in family to celebrate with them."
Long term I would love to have our own app. So we’re accessible to everyone as well as offering location based resources for emergency needs.
When Still Not A Phase went deeper and asked about the process Daniel was able to fill us in on how to join, the requirements, and how to become a volunteer.
How to become a Volunteer (The Families):
You can join one of the private Facebook Groups. They have regional groups for the US and there are sister groups in Canada, Australia, Europe, and Germany. For those who aren't on facebook you can join directly on the website StandInPride.Org
Requirements for Being a Stand In Family:
The only requirement is that you be LGBTQ+ affirming. Support in the group is for the LGBTQ+ community only but our straight allies are welcome to join and offer support. Anyone offering support should understand those seeking stand in families often have trauma. It’s not always “rainbows and butterflies”. You need to be prepared to deal with real issues such as abuse, mental illness or active addiction.
Where to go when looking for a Stand In Family:
Join one of these Facebook Group or go onto the website and introduce yourself. Daniel adds to this by saying, "I have found many of those seeking support don’t always share their need in the group but they read others introductions and reach out to them privately, and that’s ok too. We encourage those seeking support to share milestones like sobriety, engagement, job promotions, etc. in the group so we can celebrate them. For many, their personal page isn’t a safe space for them to be themselves and share certain aspects of their personal lives, the group is a safe space for them to do so."
Pairing of the Stand in Family with the person:
The pairing happens naturally. When new members join they’re encouraged to create an introduction post. Members connect based on location or shared interests and those interactions take place privately. Group admins are there just to maintain a safe space for those connections to happen.
When we asked Daniel what was a piece of advice for someone who is struggling with their sexual orientation or gender identity this was what he told us, "Be patient with yourself. Your identity is ever changing and evolving, don’t be afraid to enjoy the process and try on different labels until you find the one that fits you. Seek likeminded friends or “chosen family” for advice. Many of us who are older understand the struggle and are happy to share our perspective. Love yourself and take pride in your accomplishments, no matter how small. Some days just getting out bed and facing the world is a win. Be proud of that and celebrate it."
Please go check out Stand in Pride on Facebook through their private groups or Standinpride.org
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